Kindergarten gets harder and harder. I think now that I am an older mom, I know too much. I remember sending my oldest to kindergarten and not having the same fears or reservations.
All this summer I have agonized over the fact that I was sending my little girl on a bus, to school with strangers. I had spent the first five years of her life protecting her from strangers and here I was just going to let her hop on a bus at 8 in the morning and not see her until 3 in the afternoon. The thought of this was very unnerving.
Then to have to send my 18 year old off to college for the first time didn't help either. And now my oldest will be traveling to England. She will turn 21 while she is with strangers in another country. Not that I imagined we'd be having a fancy celebration, we are pretty low key and mainly have 'family' celebrations, of course with a big family there would be a minimum of 20 on any given day. But she will be with strangers instead. And I imagied going bar hopping with her! kidding. Happy to report that Shiela has never tasted liquor, nor beer for that matter. She informs me that she may 'touch' it before she is 21. A glass of wine in the blue skies while traveling might hit the spot she sez.
Yes this has been a tough September. My waistline shows that I have been feeding my anxieties. I suppose I need to get on the treadmill and start working it off. And start practicing what I preach, by turning this over to God. I have on many occasions just let go.... like when an entire day goes by and I don't hear from the 18 year old... imagine that A WHOLE DAY!!
I wish I could stop time and keep them little and in my eyesight. It seems Mary has adjusted to kindergarten just fine. The other day she came home sans a happy sticker. She apparently had hidden in some playground equipment and the teacher had to climb to find her. She was warned and given a sticker the first time it happened but the second time she was put on 'yellow' status and given no sticker. The next day she apparently talked another little girl into hiding with her from another class. My fears for her safety are waning ... now my prayers are centered around "Lord please help Mary behave" ... something I never worried about with my older kids. They were so afraid of me and the principals that they didn't dare misbehave. Mary has grown up with eye-rolling teens who don't come with they are called, or whose ears are stuffed with head phones. Yes we are working on our 'listening' skills as the teacher says for some reasons Mary does not come when she is called. "Is that right?" I say pretending to have learned this for the first time. I want to ask the teacher to whistle at top volume and blink the lights... usually works every time for me, but I decided to save that for a later date.
Well I've got a closet to go clean... typing makes me think I might actually do it today. You know one of those projects you plan to do once the kids go back to school. Then when they are in school you are so thrilled to be able to check email that you say you'll do the closet tomorrow.
BTW, pray for my cousin Wayne today. He is a having heart surgery. Keep praying for my Uncle Curly and my Auntie Lenora... thanks.